At joon's dads place.

As i walk into the studio (of my wheel throwing prof, an hour and a half our of Seoul) past low work tables covered with baskets and crates full of plates and ceramic pieces, past jars and pots that line the walls and shelves, past cylinders of tools, brushes and glazes, I walk to the right, following my buddy Joon as he calls me that way, I walk to the second room, that is a little more dimly lit, with a bookshelf of small pots and more tools and paddles and brushes, I see a low table with a cut out for a wheel, that sits with a small square stool, and a bucket of water that is 3/4 filled with settled slip and clay, and I take a 270 look around and see a door to my left, a large wooden table that is a little more than knee high (sort of a traditional sitting area) that too has the same as which was covering the other surfaces of the studio, I see a large metal shelf with bowls and the large jars that could look like the moon, for they are textured, and full of ash that must have come from the wood kilns that sat outside in the open warehouse right outside these studios. This is a studio/warehouse, which its hallways are made from tall shevles, with walls made from stacks and stacks of plates, cups, saucers, and those large moon jars, varying from porcelain, to woodfired stoneware, to unglazed terra cotta. I double backed towards the entrance of the second studio and found the dark cooridor that led to a third room, a narrow passage made to look as though it was a hallway, and I walked past a shelf a little more than ten feet and turned to the stair case that climbed up next to the walk, with gaps large enough where choco could easily fall to the depths (fricken choco) as I walked up this stair case, that ran perpendicular to the roof's rafters more shelves started to appear in my periferal vision to the left, and as I reached the top I saw rows and rows, to my awe filled with thousands of lidded boxes, water droppers, vases, jars, cups, plates, handbuilt figures, sculptures, and who knows what was in the depths of the shadows. This warehouse room was being lit by the "upstairs studio" which its threshold was glowing white with light. I walked past 3 or 4 shelves and stepped into this room, Joon already entered and I stepped down and took a seat on the small stair case, looking around at this room, in which I felt the atmosphere change as though it were a different dimension. there was a peace about this room, and elegance and respect so to say. Coming from the gray concrete, metal shelves, and the caos of ceramics covereing everything, this room was different. to my left stood tears of small wooden steps so to say, with a display of wood fired 'moon' jars. on the adjacent wall stood a large porcelain jar, nearly rising to my waist, and I felt into and gave it a nice flick to hear its ting compared to the tang of stoneware. there was a respect in these pieces, directly across from the doorway where I entered stood a well made wooden shelf that streched in an L fashion, with large square holes where pieces stood, altered bowls the size of my chest, in a shape of a heart, with a slight tint of red that came through the wood fire, about twenty large pieces stood in this shelf. as I turned towards the door, a small sitting table was covered with books and papers, and along the wall was a small shelf of books, ceramic figures, and what stopped me for a moments were these three small figures of an buddhist idol and a small mirror and I sat and pondered for a bit. just pondered. I wont get into it. anyways as I walked back out it struck me in awe once again, the backlit pieces where the light was trying to reach as far as it could, only brushed the edges, so the shoulders, lips and rims had a small glow where the light reflected, and I tried exploring again but the pieces turned into dark shadowed figures. I walked back towards the stair case, down through the cooridor, through one room, out another and back outside facing the home, where my prof called me to get joon and grubble some dinner. I wondered about if i'll get to have a studio someday as this. where right outside the front door of the house, stood stacks of split wood, waiting to enter one of the two wood kilns, stretching up a slight slant more than twenty feet, to have a large grass yard, and a community in which the neighborhood shares the crops that each family is in charge of growing. (we helped dig some irrigation ditches today) I wondered if I should be a teacher, a professor... to teach my hearts dream. This was a blessed time of thinking about whats in store, I see I have a lot of hard work ahead of me, a lot to learn, and a lot to grow into. I entered the home of an artist, a teacher, and a believer. Just a interesting perspective.

still so pleased to see you

so I got a lift from eddy,
to see my bike, judy, naked.
a feeling that I felt before,
like i've gone and done something wrong,

i thought i've paid for all i've done,
but i'm not quite sure anymore.
do I need to be reminded,
all they knew was their excitement.

My bicycle was parked with the moto's and bicycles at yonsei campus where eddy picked me up so we could go get pizza. and after an evening of hanging out, I returned to see my front and rear tires missing, and the coating of my bike chain being cut. My bike sat bare on the ground.

I think I take things for granted.

this is why

I love close friends. cause you know exactly whats happening, even after months of being apart.

[12:47:43 AM] Andrew Neumiller: solid
[12:48:21 AM] Andrew Neumiller: lol yeah for sure. i wish i could live with all those heads, but at the same time i think i would end up going crazy lol
[12:49:21 AM] ohpedo: haha thats why now instead of doing the pre party clean you can be the mess of the party
[12:50:04 AM] Andrew Neumiller: hahahaha
[12:50:11 AM] Andrew Neumiller: peanut butter and crackers everywehre in the house
[12:50:16 AM] Andrew Neumiller: haha
[12:50:22 AM] ohpedo: not to mention gummy bears and popcorn
[12:50:28 AM] Andrew Neumiller: mmm
[12:50:34 AM] ohpedo: haha fricken coon
[12:50:35 AM] Andrew Neumiller: just coon the shit out of everything
[12:50:37 AM] Andrew Neumiller: hahaha

(notice the time differences)

maybe not the best example but the inside joke workings were precise and remembered. I guess thats my biggest struggle right now, trying to build upon new friends ships that hopefully will be as blessed as the ones I have. Its so hard when the students I meet come for a semester, maybe two, and I guess i'm at fault for not reaching my hand our earlier, but I'm learning how to trust closely again.

And the godly relationship is a beautiful thing, between brothers its not a lot of what and though it may be thousands of miles of way I truly cherish it. When he says pray for...and he trusts in me to lift that up, and we know exactly what it means. Just being able to share the good word, I guess these are new areas in my relationships that I'd like to see expand. Hey max did you ever talk to jon? I held his hand in florence as we prayed over things together, first time i've done that. It was quite a moving time. also in honoring sisters, I've got two choices in perspective. I can look towards attraction, or I can look to respect. I feel its a test, and a hard one at times especially with new relationships being deepened but I really think i'm in a time of growth, and who knows for how long but its okay.

more than once a day you just gotta crack up. life is just so much better that way, and i've forgotten how good it is. I'm being taught old things over again on a daily basis and its awesome. I didnt know why myunghwa was mad at me, but then I found out cause I didn't make sure our sisters got home safetly, I totally looked over the matter, but tonight I made sure to be on that. Also I find waking up and seeing my homework done is so relieving and satisfying compared to waking up and having sheets of korean homework waiting to be done. So lesson I learned today in my early morning get my pottery homework done frustration doing it early is so much easier.
yup yup. and to know when to get off facebook/restrict login, blog, chat, so forth. blah

intense scheduling. sort of

I'm trying to schedule out my days, pretty much hour to hour so this is around week two of trying this schedule and I'm working out a lot of kinks. A major kink is the lack of foundation on studying habits for my entire schooling career up until university, in which I only studied for environmental studies and ceramics. But lucky that my concentration is centered sort of around that area. So I woke at 8:00, which is a little latter than planned but its okay. I proceeded to push ups, a granola bar, some quiet time, and then carelessly ran to Spanish class. In Espanol I read out loud, to be told to reread because my t and another letter was over pronounced, and when asked to translate was one for three in managing, and in that made the class laugh through my korean translation. It entertains me as well, I dont take it that seriously, in that manner that I'm not latino and that I'm pretty american. But after class I headed to kyobo book store on bus 273 during my 11-1 space to find an english to spanish dictionary. On the bus I opened the window and let some of the nice warm breeze in, along with the yellow dust that has flown over from the Gobi dessert. :) along to let out some ridiculous farts, I put protein in some milk this morning and I think the mixture went bad. I'm sorry. So when I arrived walking through the underground passage up the walkway and in through the glass doors I walked past; clocks, pens (monte blanc) headphones, cds, different clocks, watches, molskins, for about 40 meters to the primarily english section where I past (took a look) comics, batman is uber expensive, then to a section on architecture and interior design where I spent a while looking at the different books displying beautiful homes (which I'd love to live in) green homes with some ridiculous exteriors, but some very beautiful with rain roofs or grass roofs that slant into a side of a hill or something wonderful like that. Then I fueled my want to learn more about design and architecture and interior design and then saw an indian korean couple where the father was looking at a home maintence book and I was like oh yeah lets get back to the basics instead of these fantasy picture books. So I waited for him to leave and took a look, and it showed nearly everything from tiling, to fixing squeky floors while using black and decker tools... tools man I do love them, must be a guy thing, when I go to the art store I usually pick up some tool I might need to use for some weird project I decided to do because I might use that tool... what a loop of a sentence. So after I looked at the books I grabbed my spanish dictioary (for beginners) and a comic book, persepolis...and proceeded to check out and head back to class, which I carelessly was late for once again. this was mixed media, which I didn't do my homework but managed to come up with an idea while in class which involves cast molding my face. the upperclassmen who said would help me told me he'd leave me with it on my face for the weekend, and cover my nose and mouth...then I told him if he were really chakhae nice he'd leave me a hole in my mouth so I could eat. (we talk about eating a lot and how hes going to make me banchan side dishes but hasnt because we laugh about me not having a rice cooker) anyways after class they told me I have to clean at five so I had some down time and went to go eat at the haksaeng shikdang which is like 2,700 for a giant pile of rice, jjegae soup, and banchan. thats a good enough meal for me. then I went to the wheel throwing room at 5:10 (its a fluke today, before I started school I'd be 10 minutes early for everything) today I was ten minutes late to everything, got to get back on that being early thang. anways I grabbed a mop and started mopping around and started talking to Lee Een Jin's song Joon who is a cat from LA. Cool dude I suppose at least he speaks english. We were wedging clay and talking and I was like they made us come in for 2 hours after school, for like two weeks in sort of a complaining voice. and the two classmates next to us where like well 'you didnt even come' in Korean, and I started laughing and told him I skipped a lot. I mean I know and knew how to do it. Anyways I'm walking in my skill and thats why some of my assignments are last minute and late...I know its not good...but I was talking today and I explained my encouraging concern that well if they're (classmates) are working this hard, they're gonna run past me. Its okay though, my focus is sort of basic so I'll take it well and slowly and get my basics in firm. Thats my issue, running from the basics. So I've declared this year a year of foundation. At least I'm attemping to remain that way. In all things I'm heading back to the basics and molding and shaping into something credible. Anyways after wheel throwing a little bit I headed to Yonsei for the Emmaus meeting which was a blessing. Erin gave a message on friendship and what it means to be a good friend, and to be one in truth, sincerity, and love. To sharpen each other and bring out the best in one another and so forth. I'd like to get into it but oh well... Its what I was asking for and quite wonderful how things turn out. Afterwards we ate mcdonalds, which I say should be a sin, its like momentary satisfaction of the body that has devesatating effects on the arteries...haha. my joke to myself... I then rode my bicycle home, hopped around and tried some wheelies for a bit then locked up and came in to write this. and I gotta hit the shower soon cause crap its bed time. no matter what I'm doing, like mind wandering or trying to study or clean my room I'm to be in bed by midnight. See what I'm saying I got this schedule discipline in shaping. and I'm going to turn on the heater button ....now..... and wrap up by saying... hmm. well Goodnight.

hongdae ib gu exit 5

the crate in which the vampires and felines come out at night. to walk with warying eyes, with a look of blood that directs to bare legs. 8 oclock and a wise man will walk with narrow diverted eyes. its where nothing but shadows cover the yellow streets, making a connect the dots of street lamps, to the next underground hide away they can steer to, hiding in the depths once again. hardly are these creatures seen in the day, when light is shining in a real ray. the night tries to last and claws at the backs of unassuming prey, hurting to consume into the following.
get out of my neighborhood you rats. feeding on the scraps of shallowness that are given. leave.

a bird sings and an alarm buzzes. one arises and rolls around thinking and speaking, reading and writing. crawls up hits a button, runs water and heads onto the hill. up one round another down a hundred steps, hongik university where 8 o'clock is quiet, and 9 o'clock is bustling with those running sensibly for they should not be late. to stand on a cross walk safely and unassuming, waiting for as joyful as a puppy run across the street, safely and purposely. to walk inward where a ray may yet enter to encourage and inspire. to seek a quiet spot, a near by one can rest a bag and take a seat, expect to run into someone familiar. in the days. come back.

how come the teacher that ends up changing your life is the teacher that gives you the hardest time. mr johnson, why did I score a 1 on each of those essays? I still dont even know. And why if your a gyopo just like me, let me write that 10 page ceramic paper in english? but all in all I have to do it, so I'm going to do a damn fine job. but dang its going to be hard, 10 pages. including chinese rooted words and college level grammer when I comprehend like a chodeung haksaeng. gotta give me some credit, i'm not that baddddd. I'm waiting for the heater to get some warm water running so I can take a shower. I'm loving my classes, i'm confused and now things are getting straightened out. got my hand solid and comfortable wedging clay, now I have to get centering back down to the middle and comfortable cause I'm super confused in my centering identity. taught one year by mr braun one way, by nancy the second year another way, using an opposite hand years down the line by a korean teacher. oh boy maybe I just need to practice haha. which I did today I went in at like 10 pm, it was awesome I had the whole wheel throwing room to myself plugged in and just looking at wow, your moving clay again how awesome. Its pretty much spring I came home right after my first class cause I really wanted to get my homework done but on the way I walked past some branches and there were these tiny green buds forming and I was at a loss, but then I chilled out said it'd only take 10 minutes and grabbed my sketch book and took a short walk, spinning occasionally because everything made me feel in the presence of absolut beauty. I wish you were there with me, but i wonder if those feelings are sharable, its been a while since I've just been absolutely happy and free and in that much wanting to grasp everything with somebody. last time was probably in amsterdam with max in the park close to the van gogh museum... how did we end up walking there? that was amazing absolutely wonderful. i've got a korean tudor tomorrow and I'm excited for it. I'm actually doing homework and its wonderful learning so very slowly but it amazes me because that one thing I learn pops up during my day through a teacher, class, or friend. fun. its like you can only do to the amount you know, goes for a lot of things. sort of interesting that i dont fill my brain enough sometimes. I keep myself busy, and i dont know if this is a good thing. i think so but it doesnt seem like I just have enough time to space, a days worth to just give myself time to be like okay yeah this is spur the moment but I think i'll do that. i've got like a couple hours here and there and that doesnt really give me enough but its better than nothing. running circles. great. umm I ordered a desk today, crucial. walked down the street and was like how much does a desk cost to make...ohh really, aright yeah that sounds good better than that premade one and that used piece down the street. I got hunted on the street today walking to my school at night. waiting at the cross walk i was approached and was told, my friend is into you, can we have your number? I was going to say something in the line of umm this is really really weird and I think your a little crazy but instead i told them in a korean american and put my phone number in their phone, only in korea...weird. and they proceeded to text message me which I proceeded to shebeoh. maybe i'll text back for some korean writing practice... I didnt even get a look at the girl that was supposedly into me...moving on. theres a small group of girls that are quite nice in my major. and its so sad in a funny way... cause we were pretty much forced to hang out with the seniors which proceeds to heavy drinking for most... way because there like pre i want to just go home, and I too so we get seated at a long table and at the end is this girl who is just fin wild not obnoxious but likes drinking just a little to much. so I started to notice nice quiet geun ah start smiling and drooping out of existence and I'm just like oh boyyy. as i proceed to not drink rubbing alcohol and 5 year old not eating peas it under my seat as I turn to sunny who has to take this mixture o death and I proceeded to take it from her, bad news man. I mean i'm fine but poor girls drinking in this culture is ruthless. when I got seated in between two girls in the group I started speaking to an upperclassmen that jokes to much to me so I just speak in ban mal to her usually, and then those two girls start screaming in my year to say yo at the end of my sentences so I freak out in my head which proceeds to me jumping over the booth to say I'm leaving. I was looking for an excuse and the one thing that drives me insane is screaming girls, more than anything I can think of as of now that will make me leave. jaemesuh? no. umm. I'm looking to sophomore year. my year of gosaeng to where I'll be able to understand my classes, be able to communicate my arts meaning, and write papers. where I'll be comfortable enough to not suck up by showing up to dumb events and hopefully have some close friends which I do have but all i'm saying is a little different. someone at school who I can bounce with and push each other. but 10 pages. ha its nothing look at me rambling now i've got my structure laid out now I just gotta get my research done, write, translate, write and translate, then have mijung nuna help me with grammatical mistakes and voila lee jin sam I sucked it up and it suck a lot but thank you.

so its been nearly a month. I cant even remember what i wrote about last. I got out of the shower just now and I'm laying in bed with this thing on my lap. Hmm so I start school tomorrow. I wasnt as so ambitious to take a lot of courses I might have done if I had been able to do it all by myself, some interior or furniture design that I really look forward to taking in the future, painting and drawing and perhaps a chinese character and art history course as my korean improves. But i'm none the less uber excited for a lot of my courses. Tomorrow at one I have glass working, which should start out very basic, probably glass finishing and cutting and that sort, one of my upper classmen brothers or hyungs is a really good glass worker, probably easily blows out hideaway for the most part. anyways he said he would let me know when they are going to be blowing cause they only do it a few times a year due to costs and gas and labor and so forth. he told me that I'll probably end up going to one of the professors home to work on the wood kiln which I'm SUPER happy about, nothing like staying up all night, hawling wood into a 1800 degree kiln. YES. So i'll have wheel throwing, hand building, mixed media and then some randoms like spanish... english writing...reading... and a movie class! to get by I probably should be aiming for As in those classes and probably my art classes as well, e'll see that'll be the day. So I skipped orientation and the first day I met my major (departments and freshman students) I walked in to help clean the studio, and there were like 30 little girl faces looking at me making me feel super akward and there like your the only boy in your incoming class for you major...great. youd think so but totally not. i feel akward, out of place, and it helps but totally doesnt help that i'm older cause there all like obba obba and I'm like uhhh what? but the upperclassmen are like my age so thats really cool cause they're doing a great job of helping me out and just letting me stick around them. Maybe I'll take my camera around and show you what my school is all about. I'll let you know. so its good being back in korea. I hope to go to cambodia again this coming winter, and hopefully in the summer some of my friends will be back to visit me here where I call home now. fantastic. you should come too. anyways things are neat, and changing, but developing. things that are in me, just wanting to be refined, lots of skills that are really to be growing and a lot of just personal things to be shaken off and developed onto as well. it'll be a good and challenging ride. Minnesota was really weird. it was amazing seeing my friends and loving with them and catching back up, but personally it was a really hard time, facing old memories and having to decipher and then having to throw out and move on. I'm not stepping foot into my minnetonka house again...thats crazy to me. we'll see it should be good all together though, but I dont think i'll be home for another two years, what more will have changed in that time, I wont think much but i hope my friends would have grown more, and have more interests and passions and desires and skills and loves and good things in their lives. direction and so forth, how exciting. anyways my sleep schedule has been nice. 7 or 8 hours on the money, in bed around 12 and waking up with a nice warm sun. theres a park with trees and a decent view of hongdae and the neighborhoods from on top of the hill right out my door its nice. id run but its yellow dust season, I think that stuff is making me all clogged up and stuff, gross. but we'll see maybe tomorrow will be nice. I have to meet my department at 4 and I hope we get food together but I hope they dont go drinking. cause then i'll have to say I have to leave and feel all akward and things like that. Its so hard. its not like I dont not drink, but its like i dont go out. it just isnt appetizing and i've got so much more I need to be doing. we'll see i've committed it in myself but I just need to be shaped in that way now. wonderful. and plus with 30 girls, whether they are younger or not its still just room for error so I have to be super careful not to even get close to crossing lines. schword. the quest for better, patience, purity. its a hard road. but I think its uber worth it. keeps me sane, and healthy, and seeking in better places. just reassuring what I'm thinking, its been a fairly smooth with minor turbulence ride for a good bit now. good. so I might end up taking a bunch of language courses. fun. but its weird cause I havent signed up korean language cause i didnt see it... I should probably find that cause i have a lot ot learn. but I could just jump into the fire and learn in the school of hardknocks. okay fine I usually end up learning the hardway anyways so k next semesester i'll do it. courses i'm intimidated by here i come. and student groups, i think the photography club is overrated, I think in a sense it all just turns into drinking clubs, wheres somethign sincere. this is something sincere, my old frisbee hyung called me the other day asking if I wanted to go to jejudo for a tournament in april, I was like I gotta think about it but ended up calling him back 20 minutes later asking when we practice, confirming I can make them, and comitting to this tournament. I'm going to be playing ultimate again!!! and i feel a little nervous like how I get when I'm lined up 7 facing 7 ready to recieve, but whatever this is so fun and it gets me in such good shape I dont care how competitive it gets i'm in. wonderful. hopefully it'll be a grass tournament, so i can lay out nice and long and get those nice grass stains. and I hope to sky some fools hollar and mark some handlers and get some stall counts. yes sir yes sir it should be exciting. that was my life in college, but now that i have a balanced opportunity to play again no way i'm turning it down, and i can wear my light and dark ugly duckling jerseys again, which are sick and everybody wants to trade. i know, we're awesome... for life. word. well I could be wrapping up I dont think theres that much else going on. everything is so new right now, yet its only the same old life.. interesting. kk cool catch ya later.